Heart Over Head

It's always better to follow my heart rather than my head. My stepdad always told me to follow logical thoughts and really think things through. My Gramma always told me to never ignore my gut. For years I've told myself it was a combination. Turns out Gramma was right. I make myself miserable every time I "think" before I make big changes.

This blog was originally started ten years ago as my outlet for my ridiculous home sickness for Alaska. Now I'm in Alaska and I've lost all of that joy that I found and wrote about when I was in the South. I blame my demise of spirit often on the East Coast. But relocation back to Alaska has only spiraled me downward.

It's time to regain my life back. I'm 39 now, horribly overweight and out of shape. All I wanted was to be closer to my family, I am logistically, but can't seem to get there emotionally. I am working two incredibly demanding jobs. Our cat went missing. We still have the three dogs, although we are a geriatric household now. My husband sleeps in his car in Los Angeles about 90% of the time because I've plunged us into the abyss of owning our own small business and he is terrified of losing everything. I have my dream nail salon now with five employees under 23 years old. Opening it killed my oldest friendship, my step dad can barely look at me he is so disappointed, and my Mom needs her nails done and feels like she can't come in because my stepdad hates our business so much. I have my $2000 dream bike getting dusty in my garage. Did I mention I'm overweight and unhealthy?

I am guessing no one reads this blog anymore. I am going to use it to unravel all of my woes and track my progress of emerging from this darkness and back to a great life. I'm going to be honest and probably incredibly long winded about the negative aspects I have created. My writing will probably make me cry a lot and hurt the feelings of my family a lot of the time, but fuck... I have got to do something! My Facebook and Instagram is SO filtered for public use. This is going to be damned raw and not for the faint of heart! xoxo






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